William the Conqueror – 1066 Surprisingly, the coronation of William of Normandy wasn’t initially that contentious. While the Saxons weren’t thrilled at being vanquished they did need a King, and William needed to be crowned to cement his position, so it was a bit of a win-win situation. The ceremony went off without a hitch, carried out in English and French to keep things nice, and all was well until the jubilant witnesses gave raucous cheers at how marvellous the whole thing was. William’s loyal Norman troops standing guard outside Westminster Abbey mistook this noise for French and English people shouting mean things to each other and getting cross so, assuming their brethren had things covered inside, went off setting fire to anything they could – which, in 1066, was pretty much everything – and took to looting and generally starting a right royal riot. While his audience fled the Abbey, William forced the terrified clergy to continue the ceremony to the point he was definitely King, before hightailing it to safety. King John – 1199 We are all familiar with the tale of King John (of Robin Hood fame) behaving so badly even his Barons had to bring him in line with the Magna Carta, however it turns out the omens were never good from the start. When John was crowned he giggled and misbehaved throughout the ceremony and, once they actually managed to get the crown on his head, flounced out of the Abbey, leaving the clergy and noblemen staring after him horror and confusion half way through the ceremony. George IV – 1821 By all accounts this was the most extravagant and opulent coronation of them all. And the most disastrous! George wanted to outdo Napoleon so pulled out all the stops to show just who’s the man. Unfortunately, there was the small matter of his wife. It is well documented that George IV and Princess Caroline loathed each other on sight. Despite this they still married and somehow conceived a daughter, after which they had nothing more to do with each other. When George IV became King the thought of Caroline being crowned Queen next to him horrified him so much he postponed the coronation for over a year in an attempt to divorce her, denying her right to be Queen. Nothing doing, Caroline was determined to be crowned, arriving at Westminster Abbey on the appointed day to take her place at the altar. George had his officials slam the Abbey doors in her face and ordered his guards to keep her out during the ceremony. Caroline was so tenacious, shouting at the top of her voice and scurrying round the Abbey looking for any way to get in, that the guards were forced to threaten her with their weapons to stop her. Having successfully stopped Caroline being crowned Queen, George thought he had it made and proceeded to the lavish banquet he’d organised in Westminster Hall. He packed in 2,000 nobles and peers, but it became so oppressively hot people started fainting. To make matters worse, 26 giant chandeliers weren’t fitted with adequate drip catchers, so halfway through the banquet the ceiling started raining wax onto all who sat below in their expensive fabrics and finery. George IV 0 – Napoleon 1. Queen Victoria – 1838 There had been no rehearsals for Victoria’s coronation, so it was a bit chaotic. Nobody knew what they were doing, aging peers rolled downstairs (a chap called Lord Rolle, priceless), the ladies in waiting tripped over their dresses and Victoria inadvertently left early. She was in the process of removing her ceremonial robes, only to be told she had to return to the Abbey to finish the ceremony because the Bishop of Bath and Wells had missed two pages of the liturgy. Worse still, a miscommunication meant the coronation ring had been resized for Victoria’s little finger, instead of her third finger. Not wishing to go against protocol, the Archbishop of Canterbury nevertheless rammed the small ring on to her third finger. All told the coronation lasted 5 hours and once that was finally over, it took a lot of ice, effort and pain to remove the coronation ring. I think King Charles III will be quite satisfied with just a little rain.